Advice from a wise pug

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Queen Sarah Rala ~ Advice From A Wise Pug

Co-author’s note: This was originally written in April of 2013.

Hello, my name is Queen Sarah Rala and I’m a Chinese Pug. My human is Nancy, who writes on this page the helpful advice I pass along for up and coming young pugs. She graciously acknowledged my age and wisdom by donating this space to me. I feel there are far too many humans who take advantage of our cuteness and I want to make fellow pugs aware of the problems this can cause.

They can’t seem to resist our little smooshed in faces and they put bonnets, hats, and masks on us as if they think we love it. We don’t. Sometimes humans dress us in baby clothes because they think we look so much like babies. We don’t.

wise pug

My photo is from my human’s family photo album, although it doesn’t do me justice!

My intent on this page is to give pugdom the benefit of my wisdom; like how to prevent wearing anything that makes a pug uncomfortable, books to read (pugs are born knowing how) and two things of utmost importance: how best to resist doing tricks for your human, and how to train your human in the proper care and feeding of Chinese pugs.

Another tip I found you may need is advice to the lovelorn from one pug to another, how to avoid heartbreak. Your human will have no idea of this kind of thing, after all these are beings who put their FACES together. I mean, how can they know who…..? Never mind, let’s go on. After all, we ARE royalty you know, and it’s about time humans learned proper respect for our nobility.

Humans are not easily trained, they lack certain characteristics, but it can be done if you are patient.

The Tao of Pug – Ancient Chinese Philosophy – Pugs Are Known To Follow This Life Path

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Here I Am On My Throne or As My Human Calls It “The Couch.”

Wilson the Pug, who learned Tao-te Ching from his ancestors, passes on his knowledge of the path of life in this book, with the help of his human Nancy Levine.

(Wonder if Wilson has as much trouble with his Nancy as I do with mine.

She’s a bit stubborn when it comes to learning.) No pug should be without this as it is essential for young pugs to understand their ancient heritage. This book can also help humans begin to learn about noble pugs if they are open to learning.

A Pug’s Regal Beginnings

As I sat on my throne, it came to me that this was a fit seat for a regal pug. The photo is from my human’s family photo album and was taken several years ago when I was a young pug just beginning to learn about my heritage. Of course, I already knew I was nobility, but had no idea exactly what that meant until I learned from reading about my noble beginnings.

Now of course, I’m fully aware of my regality, and I allow no discourtesy to my nobility. Pugdom is a very important part of history, without which…well, you’d have no pugs, and wouldn’t that be a sad world?

Halloween and Here We Go With A Silly Hat!

wisepug2It’s Halloween, and of course, Nancy thinks there must be a photo of me with a silly costume. I managed to keep it limited to the stupid hat only. Everything else she tried on me, I simply rolled, thrashed and scruffed until she removed it.

Look What My Human Did To Me……..On Halloween!

This is an example of what humans think is appropriate for a noble pug. Why they think this is cute is beyond me. Can’t they see my pained expression? My ancestors would be turning over…..well, you know. But I digress….once more.

How To Get Out Of Stupid Clothing and Hats. Read Carefully and Do Exactly As I Tell You

If you have been enveloped in a complete costume, as soon as you’re loose from those restraining hands, begin wriggling, threshing about, digging at it with your feet, rolling, even crying if it gets the thing removed. If something is put on your head that you are uncomfortable wearing, here’s how to avoid it. Begin by scrubbing your head on the carpet, meanwhile pulling on the thing with your paw. Make sure you do this on both sides. Continue for several minutes. After a good round of this, one of two things will occur: (a) you will succeed in pulling the irritating thing off your head, or (b) your human will get tired of only being able to photograph your backside, or one ear, or none of your face and will remove the thing from your head. In any case, you will have succeeded in your mission. In her efforts to dress me for a holiday called Halloween, my human tried putting a costume on me. It looked silly. I let her know how displeased I was by doing all the things mentioned above. She finally removed the costume, but insisted on the hat for the photo.

NOTE: You may have to postpone the wriggling, threshing, rolling, etc., for a time until your human turns you loose. Mine held me still for this photo. It’s what “they” do.

Training a Human Isn’t Easy, But This Works Well.

But I didn’t wear this very long after they turned me loose. It came off rather easily because pugs are wonderfully and conveniently built with a head smaller than the neck! They did try another couple of times, and then just gave up when they saw it was useless. Now THAT’S the way to train a human! Young pugs, you can also do this, don’t give up!

Warning On The Vagaries Of Falling In Love – A Sad Pug’s Tail, er, uh, Tale

A good lesson for young pugs about falling in love, unrequited love, and heartbreak. You CAN hold your head up and go on through it all. Falling in love with a pug who is unfriendly about food can be disappointing. She/he will never share with you. This is not someone that you want to get involved with, no matter how sweet they act away from the food bowl.

When You Get The “Silent Treatment”

Furthermore if your human presents you with a squeaking bear, pumpkin, cow, etc., do not, I repeat, DO NOT fall in love with it. You will only be heartbroken when everything falls apart and it begins to give you the “silent treatment.”

Love Unrequited, Not Returned

Finally, probably the worst feeling in the world…unrequited love. Let’s take my friend Buddy’s love life as an example. Buddy is a handsome pug, still has all his teeth, his eyesight is good, and he loves to romp and play as a pug should. On a walk with his human one day, he spied a pink, Yes, pink! poodle walking with her owner. Instantly Buddy fell for the hussy with his whole pounding pug heart. But the poodle was snooty, stuck her nose in the air and walked away. Buddy was devastated, but he kept thinking he could still bring her around, if he just could see her enough. But every time he saw her, it was the same routine. He finally lost his appetite and began to mope. Only an intervention from a pug friend saved his life. The moral here is don’t became obsessed with someone who thinks they’re out of your class.

How NOT To Learn Tricks – Here Are Two of My Successful Methods

Here’s my advice on how NOT to learn to do tricks the humans want you to do. Plan A This works really well but you must be very careful not to be detected. Pretend to be deaf! Yes, I said deaf, can’t you hear me? Believe me, there’s an art to this and it’s required that you practice it well before attempting to use the method. You must be convincing, because if they suspect, even for a moment, that you can hear, they will continually try to get you to sit, stay, roll over, play dead, silly things like that. This method is most believable when you begin to get gray around the muzzle and ears as shown in my photo here.

There is another method if all else fails. Plan B – This method involves being stubborn and just refusing to comply with the human’s wishes. Just act as though you have no idea what they’re talking about! Of course, then they may claim you are stupid….but we know the truth of that, don’t we?

There are, of course, other techniques, but for now we’ll just keep it at these two. Don’t want to confuse the issue, don’t you know?


 

Helpful Books You Might Like – Your Human Might Like Them Too

            


 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

Nancy Hardin is a highly experienced writer and author. A retired journalist, she is also a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother with a wealth of experience in many fields. In addition, she is a retiree veteran, having spent many years in the Women’s Army Corps. She is also an experienced ghostwriter and you can see more about her skills at the The Writers’Door. YOu can visit Nancy’s website here and discover more of her work at this site.

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2 Comments

  1. Queen Sarah Rala, you surely have proven your royal position in the Pugdom of canines. And how wise thou art to train human Nancy so very well!

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