Prince Charles: The writers’ moneymaker
Here’s a cool way to make money. Write a book that contains ‘revelations’ about that famous British soap opera, the royal family. Publicise some of its more extreme stories.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve simply made them up -newspapers do it all the time.
Pretend, if you like, that this is authorised by Prince Charles. Never mind that it’s not true. Claim to have had ‘unprecedented access’ to the royal family and the household staff. No-one will check.
And while you’re about it, write about what the queen is thinking. Why not? She never gives interviews or goes on TV chat shows. She won’t dispute what you say.
The same with the Duke of Edinburgh.Say that he is disappointed in his son, if you wish.
And don’t forget the juiciest story of all – the prince and his love life. Remember, Diana isn’t going to reach out from the grave to argue.
It doesn’t matter that you’re American or that this is only your third book. Invent what you wish. Tell the world that his favourite advisor was a disc-jockey who also happened to be a paedophile. The disc-jockey cannot deny anything from six feet under.
Say that he talks to dead people in a specially-created sacred, mystical area of his garden and that his home is filled with shrines.
Add that he almost jilted Diana. Say that the queen ‘fears’ what will happen to the monarchy when Charles becomes king. Why not?
True, many British people – the chef Marco Pierre White comes to mind – have successfully sued American journalists for presenting fiction as fact. But you’re on a pretty safe bet with the royal family. They just don’t do that sort of thing. Yet.
While you’re at it, be sure that the cover of the book features a photoshopped image of Prince Charles that looks as though it’s been run through one of those ‘what you will look like in twenty years’ apps.
Remove all the colour apart from the cold,steely eyes.
As I said in a previous article, this is evidence enough to show that this book isn’t, in fact, authorised.
So, there you have it.
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