Here at Jaquo, we are very pleased to feature an article from author, Lorrie Forde. Her new book, Really Good F Words: Your Interactive Guide to Self-Care, was released on the 1st of November, 2015.
Ms. Forde is currently on the virtual book tour for her book, hosted by iRead Book Tours. We hope you will check out her tour schedule there to see where you can find her. You will learn lots more about the book and Ms. Forde at the various stops along the way.
As part of the tour, Lorrie Forde was kind enough to share with us here today.
Keeping Self-Care on Your Priority List
By Lorrie Forde, CEC, ACC (Business Coach, Life Coach, Facilitator, and Author)
How is it that I can be so motivated when someone else is the focus of my thoughtful attention but when it comes to me and my own self-care I often find myself falling off my priority list?
It’s a great question and one that opens the dialogue to an intentional journey.
In my work as a professional coach, it is common for me to find a question that sounds very much like this one make its way into conversations with my clients. Because coaching is completely forward focused I always ask my client, “Do I understand you to say that even though it may have been a challenge in the past, you’re ready to commit to putting yourself somewhere near the top of your priority list going forward?”
Even after a client has responded with a resounding “yes” to this question, they often get pulled back into old stories. Simply put these stories are our perception of past real life experiences. It is incumbent on me, as their coach, to remind them that although everything that has gone on in our lives is important…coaching is not the place to revisit those experiences. Those stories are part of what has brought us to where we stand today and this client at this time has recognized their own interest in moving forward on the task of repositioning themselves further up their own priority list. This reminder to shift the attention in the direction of focusing on today and tomorrow versus yesterday is all that they need to get back on track in their pursuit of intentional self-care.
Those old stories and longstanding patterns are much like a pair of comfortable old slippers we keep around even though they are completely worn out and long past their ‘best before’ date. They can really get in the way of us moving toward increased and intentional self-care and a new pair slippers that are at least as comfortable as the old ones. As humans, we often gravitate toward the well-travelled route where everything is familiar to us. At the same time we also have the ability to forge new paths that are more closely aligned with where we’d like to go next and that are in support of the life we choose to live. In Chapter Six of my book, Really Good F Words: Your Interactive Guide to Self-Care, I talk about self-care as being both our right and our responsibility. We have the right to have a pair of slippers that are comfortable and that we feel good about wearing and we have the responsibility to earn the money to pay for them and to get out to the store to buy them.
This sounds like an oversimplification of a complex goal and in some ways it may be. It is simple to say and not always easy to actually move into new directions and it is simple to write something down but not necessarily easy to move to action on that which you’ve written. Connecting deeply with one’s inner desire to achieve the end result is stage one of a process. Finding ways to make the task more doable and maintaining the momentum of action is the rest of it. This is where other people, organizations, or external resources may come into play for many of us.
Support can be helpful as we begin to forge new paths. It may come in the form of previous experience where we’ve felt success (a.k.a. confidence) or it can come in the form of friends, clubs, businesses, a coach, an online app, or something else that works for you. When I know I have someone in my corner or on my team, I am more likely to keep going forward toward my goal. Sticking to the plan is critical in getting to the goal so I really need to have that accountability built into whatever plan I make. I have no idea why I’m more likely to maintain momentum when there are others involved nor do I need to know why…I just know that it’s true and so I’ll make use of that reality. Find whatever works for you and in the words of Nike, “just do it”.
Lorrie Forde is a professional coach with clients whose interests range from business goals to personal topics and executive responsibilities to organizational strategic planning. She is also author of the best-selling book, Really Good F Words: Your Interactive Guide to Self-Care.
www.goodreads.com Author: Lorrie Forde
Where are you on your priority list? A key question in measuring self-care. Uncover your own customized strategies for moving further up that list as you bring this thought provoking and interactive book to life around your own kitchen table. Connect with friends and get your sense of self back with doable self-care strategies.
Author Lorrie Forde invites you to break all the old rules about not writing in books—this one is yours to write in, reflect back on, and share as you choose. Make it work for you! This is not another thing to add to your ‘to-do’ list. Let the pages do the work and before you know it, you’ll be laughing with friends, reconnecting with your passion, and the envy of your peers as you figure out what ‘feeds you’ and where your ‘weak spots’ are. How long will it take till you’re using “F” words all the time and your cookie jar is overflowing? Analogies like this cookie jar and using really good “F” words help us to laugh at reality and a little laughter really can make all the difference.
Lorrie Forde is a daughter, a mother, a sister, a grandma, and a friend. She learned the hard way that balance is her secret ingredient in the analogy of a full and healthy ‘cookie jar’.
During a twenty-five year career in post-secondary education and through her work as a professional Executive and Life Coach, Lorrie has gathered the research and the tools she needed to bring this book to life. “I believe everyone deserves to have a coach and this book was a way for me to make that possible. I invite my readers to have fun with the process and to trust that their answers will come—they always do.” Lorrie loves to fill her days with adventure and laughter. She enjoys her work and says, “I work hard but I work to live—I don’t live to work.”